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28 Jun
In life, i’ve always strove to look forward, not backwards. As the mantra goes - “In life, we regret the things we didn’t do, more than the things we did.” However, there are some things that i did in my life that i’ve come to feel not so sure about.
I don’t regret them per se. Just feel that my life could have been very different had i chosen an alternative route.
1) Breaking up with Shuhui
My first serious relationship. I was young, hot-headed and stubborn at 20 years of age. Maybe i should have fought harder to keep it. Rather than walk away when our umpteenth fight outside her house in Jurong East. It was a long lonely walk back to the train station - and it still is.
My younger brother is married and expecting their first child next year. Perhaps i would have been happily married with kids by now had i fought harder to keep the relationship.
We were both hurt pretty bad from that breakup. She couldn’t find closure till 3 years after the breakup where we had a long chat over the phone. We have not spoken since. I am already over the relationship.
2) Skipping my NUS exams in favour of my part-time work - TWICE!
Many wonder why i never graduated from NUS Arts. The truth was that i skipped the exams 2 semesters in a row, in favour of my part time work at a web design firm. I was so foolish, putting my career before my studies. The company eventually folded, owing employee a shit load of unpaid salaries and CPF monies - which till this day, the employer is still paying in installments.
I regret not having taken my studies more seriously. I had let the grandiose ideal of “struggling high school dropout entrepreneur” syndrome get to me. Resulting in waste of time and money - and with nothing to show for it other than broken promises and an empty bank account.
3) Selling out my company so soon
In selling my company back in 2006, i had raised a white flag - i surrender. It resulted in me delegating my own fate to someone else, namely my employer. I had given up my freedom and lost my will to fight. I convinced myself that i had no fight in me anymore to upkeep the company i fought so hard to start.
As a start-up entrepreneur, the survival instinct is stronger. The urgency to deliver and to excel is greater. The desire to achieve success is much deeper. Going back to working for someone was an admission that i can’t do it, and truthfully, a sign of weakness on my part.
I just feel terrible everyday. I’m a blue collar worker now. Like a caged lion with no territory and I’ve lost my will to fight and to excel. What use is it to overachieve? Its a lousy feeling i dread everyday.
On hindsight, i should have taken CL’s advise and kept the company going. Cos if i dug deeper, i would have found the fight to move forward.
Conclusion
I’ll take a leaf from Sir Winston Churchill’s life journal - “Never, never, never give up. Ever.”
I’ve always preached about how important it is to have a team. Cos business is a team sport. My current team is impeccable and driven. And i feel i have frustrated them with my “caged lion” mentality. Its time to let the lion out of the cage again… to roam the landscape and reclaim its rightful territory.
Time to move into fifth gear. I am ready and i will not be afraid.
11 Responses for "Regrets… i’ve had a few…"
Everyone has had regrets. We need to let them go and look forward. What is done is done, now, we can only do better
starwishs last blog post..Durian Fest
@starwish: Many thanks. My life would have been different had i chosen another path. But nonetheless, my life is still enriched by the decisions i’ve made, the friendships gained and the experienced gleaned.
Time to move onwards and upwards.
Very bold, reflective and honest post, Michael. I can feel the pain behind some of your words.
Yet, there is always something beautiful that comes out of the alternative paths we take.
It’s great that you have a new drive. Good luck to you in all that lies ahead!
Its A Long And Lonely Path filled with peril and danger. Enterpreneuship depression is a very real thing.
When things are down, this poem keeps me afloat.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of Circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of Chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
@Veron: Thanks for the words of encouragement.
@pRoToCoL: Ha ha… good advice indeed, my brother.
just got out of a discussion,its still preliminary but i am negotiating for podfire episodes to be shown on the first iptv provider =)
What does not kill you can only make you stronger. All the best bro
arzhou (adrian)s last blog post..Beer Making 101: Simple Extract Beer
As you’ve written this post, I think what you needed to learn from your journey so far is complete. Yes, never give up!
@arzhou: True.
@TLE: The learning journey never stops.
Hi Michael,
Life is full of lessons - the question is whether we choose to learn from them.
Here’s wishing you all the best, and I hope to interview you one day very soon for my blog on your latest business venture.
Daniel
Thanks for the post, something to ponder on
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