Veron’s Twitter reminded me of how bad drunkenness can be.

That got me thinking about my family. It seems that people in my household are prone to addictive behaviour. My grandfather was addicted to opium, he was a brilliant engineer who worked in the Singapore Bus Company, who smoked his inheritance and future away.

My father smokes (cigarettes) and drinks - oftentimes too much for his own good. He’ll come home drunk and slump asleep in the toilet seat - depriving us the use of our only toilet. I still can’t stand his smoking… but he’s my dad and i love him.

Myself? I have many vices - gambling, stealing, internet and work.

I remember as a secondary school kid (sec 1 or sec 2), i got into a little gambling game. We’ll each held a coin or dollar note in our clasped palms and guess how much is in the other person’s hand. The one who guessed correctly is the winner. And winner takes all.

I suspect the root of my additive behaviour was a desire to win at all cost. Winning is a very additive feeling - no one likes to lose. The prospect of winning at a guessing game drove me - staking my lunch money to pursue that feeling.

Eventually i started losing quite a lot. I remember one experience quite vividly.

I had lost quite a bit on a bout of betting. The kid i was playing against was winning all my money. I had to get it back. I staked my last 1 dollar note on the last bet. All our previous bets were in 10 cents and 20 cents denominations - never higher. So i was taking a big risk with my $1 bet.

I guessed that he was holding 50 cents in his hands. I looked straight into his eyes, anticipating a big win… he had frowned his brow in deep concentration…

“I guess…. $1 dollar!”

I couldn’t believe my ears! He won! (he only had 20 cents in his palm).

I remembered that i was close to tears. And i chased him down a corridor trying to get my dollar back. He wasn’t gonna give it back.

Life’s not like a game where we can press the “reset” button. What’s done can’t be undone.

I stopped gambling for money from that day forth.

When i was in Sec School, i had this huge crush on a girl in my class… let’s call her BQ. She’s a dancer with the Dance Society (i had a thing for dancers once)… and she was the monitor in class (i had a thing for women in authority too). Apparently my crush was so “loud” that my classmates all know about it ( i have a feeling she knew about it too).

BQ’s really sweet and all that… and probably that was why she had me under her “spell”. She’s not really pretty, just a “plain jane”. But when she puts on make-up, she’s a whole different person.

My pals often tease me about it, but somehow i never got to tell her about the feelings i had for her. I guess i was fearful of rejection… plus i had really low self-esteem back then (heh… still do to some extent, but my confidence is in Christ! Amen?). (more…)

When i was younger, maybe 5 or 6 years old, i had a very bad experience eating at KFC. It was so traumatic, that i didn’t eat KFC until primary school. Well, here’s what happened…

My aunt and cousins had come over for the weekend. Its one of those family gatherings that i look forward to as a kid. I always love visiting my cousin’s place or my maternal grandma’s house… we would just hang out with my cousins - we’d play games or i’ll just follow my cousin on errands (roadtrips - that’s another story altogether).

Anyways, this week was their turn to come over to my place. We were debating on what to eat for dinner. Grandma didn’t prepare dinner so we all decided to eat out.“How about KFC?”, suggested one of my cousins. (more…)

For 10 years when i was staying at Teban Gardens, i was best friends with my next door neighbour - Cai Shui Mu. He’s a great pal.

As our front doors were facing each other, we would sit for hours on end behind our iron grille front gates and just chat. I remember my grandma would feed me lunch or dinner at the gates while i talked to Shui Mu. We would exchange ideas and even play RPG games! (more…)

Well, as u would know by now, i was a fan of kung fu movies when i was younger (i still am). I especially love the Cantonese TVB period drama serials that we get to watch on VHS. I love the special effects (although primitive by today’s standards)… Laser beams seems to shoot out of their palms, index finger and their pinky (seriously!). Red, blue or green colored lightning beams.

I was thinking, “Wow, Kung Fu masters those days are really powerful… i wonder if i can develop that “Qi” too?” (more…)